Why I love my wife so much.

During my Near Death Experience (NDE), I was immersed in glowing, colorful fireworks and opened my eyes to the cold, grey hospital room, with my wife sitting in a chair.  I wanted to tell her everything I was seeing and how much I loved her, but she wasn’t looking at me and I couldn’t move or speak. I couldn’t get her attention!  I finally gave up and went back to the color.  Then I remembered the letter I wrote my wife’s dad about fighting cancer, and built my army of white blood cells. I managed to escape death. I know opening my eyes and seeing my wife, wanting to tell her one last time how much I loved her, probably saved my life.

The love of my wife saved my life!!!

Easter’s meaning this year

This year Easter means to me that it is never too late to be forgiven. Even the man to Jesus’s right was saved at the end.

Creator God of Love, forgive us for judging others, we do not know other’s struggles and intents of their hearts as only you could know. Forgive us for not respecting people, lifestyles, and beliefs different from our own, we should all strive to Love one another as brothers and sisters and eliminate Hate from this world. We are all sinners and we ask for Your Forgiveness.

Even if you don’t believe that prayers work, please share a kind message of Love today with a stranger. Or simply pray that Love conquers Hate.

Namaste my brothers and sisters!


The heartbreaking decision between Life and Death

Doggie Heaven just got the best, sweetest, friendliest, most lovable dog in the whole world. Minnie was always a happy dog and brought so much love and joy into our family. She never barked and loved everybody and everybody loved her. [Ok, maybe she barked 20-30 times, but that’s pretty good for being a one year old puppy.]

She didn’t know or care about personal space with people or other dogs, she just wanted to be your friend. She would lean up against everyone she met – wanting some love – and if she knew you were a dog person, she would slide down to your feet, and roll over hoping for a belly rub. She loved to nudge her nose under your hand to get you to pet her. She just wanted to sniff and play with every dog she met, whether they wanted to or not. She loved chasing and running with our neighbor dogs Gabby and Gertie.

She peed on the carpet maybe 3-4 times at most before being potty trained at 8 weeks. She went to her kennel for the first time at 10 weeks without even a whimper! When smells of food filled the air, especially popcorn, she was never a mooch, she just waited patiently to clean up any “crumbs”! 😉

My 3 girls loved to put her Kong up their shirt because they wanted Minnie to tickle them as she tried to get it out. I could make her wag her tail just by looking at her with a smile. After I worked a hard day outside in the heat, she loved to lick my sweaty face and head. She fetched tennis balls but wasn’t obsessed. She would play keep away with a stick, and the girls would chase her and eventually would get her to stay long enough for them to grab it from her.

It’s so sad she was still a puppy. It’s not like losing an old dog that had lived a full dog’s life, but like losing a life way too young. We are all devastated with grief as we loved that dog with all of our hearts. The girls cried themselves to sleep, especially our biggest dog lover. And they cried when they woke up. We cried lots of tears, not from bumps, hurt feelings, or being scared, but our first tears together from heart-breaking sorrow. My wife and I haven’t cried this much since our dads died. We just watched Marley and Me last weekend not knowing we would be living the ending just a week or two later, but in a way it helped prepare the girls for what was to come. Minnie’s tragedy has brought us closer as a family.

For our local friends and neighbors, it’s probably best not to bring up the subject for awhile. We may consider another dog someday, maybe next year, but none will every be able to compare to Minnie. Hug your loved ones tight every day and every night and tell them you love them. {Please don’t say you’re sorry, just say some prayers.}

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
:-( . . . 😐 … … … :-) . . .

[That was the eulogy I started writing last August, the day we didn’t think Minnie would come home after we had left her overnight at the vet, partially paralyzed. Let me explain…]

We had a big scare last summer after surgery on her leg to remove extra cartilage (OCD). She was recovering great, but after 4 weeks she started limping then quickly had trouble walking and by the next day she couldn’t walk at all. We thought it was related to the leg surgery, but appeared not to be related as both her back legs and back half were partial paralyzed and she seemed to be in a lot of pain. (I saw her lean so far forward, her back legs came off the ground and she was doing a “handstand” on her front paws.) She also groaned more and coughed more.

It took a while, but eventually our vet suspected myasthenia gravis, an autoimmune disease that affects the signal from the nerves to the muscles. The initial higher dose of prednisone seemed to restore some normal walking and even running, much to our delight since she hadn’t ran in months. But she would still showed signs of partial paralysis. As we reduced the dose, the symptoms got much worse until the point where she constantly needed help walking with the sling again. She could only “walk” 3-5 feet at a time. Her back legs were more like crawling. She also wasn’t always finishing her food. [We’re talking about a puppy that could scarf down a heaping cup of food in less than 20 seconds!!!] We increased the dose of pred again and finally saw a little relief after 5-6 days. She had short periods of normalcy.

We were finally able to start the medicine for myasthenia and within 30 minutes, Minnie was completely back to normal! The neighbors were shocked, along with us, by the miraculous recovery. She was on the pills for about 2 months and then she was fine without them. Myasthenia gravis (MG) can spontaneously go away, and Minnie was great for 6 months.

I’m glad we didn’t lose her in one day and had time to do all the things we had planned to do but hadn’t done yet. We painted her nails like we always talked about [but never really, ya know… PLANNED!?!], we casted her front paws in heart shaped concrete filled with gems, we got the family picture with the WHOLE family!

But last week we learned MG can spontaneously reappear. And this time the pills did not work, prednisone didn’t work. She was vomiting every day. And each day her coughing, gagging, and choking got worse, and eventually she had a very difficult time just breathing. She had developed megaesophagus and pnuemonia.

So this morning, after the vet put the IV in her arm and brought her back to the exam room, she had her labored breathing. But after I pick her up and held her in my lap loving her, a calm sense of peace came over her… and me. She was breathing fine. The vet gave the injection and she slowly slipped away as I kissed her and told her how much I loved her. We all love her so much!


Elf and The Santa Clause

While I’m emptying barf buckets, washing blankets, cleaning carpets, and with presents still to wrap at 9pm, I have a confession to make… I have always been somewhat of a Grinch, a Scrooge. It partly stems from getting socks and underwear too many times as “gifts” as a child from my well intentioned mother. And not being able to rip open presents because we had to save the paper for next year, bless her heart! Mostly it’s from the over commercialization of the whole holiday season, the store decorations before Halloween, the songs before Thanksgiving, the “need” to give gifts as if a heartfelt “Merry Christmas” isn’t enough, or is it “Happy Holidays” now?!

But this year has been very different for me, with no ounce of Grinch-ness at all this season. I’ve have an amazing journey this year into my inner Soul, realizing the power of other spirits as well as my own psychic awareness and abilities, ignoring negative energy, turning off the sensationalism news, etc, etc. And watching Elf (and Santa Clause 1 2 & 3) for the first time, my new favorite Christmas movies! (Sorry Grinch.) “The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear!” How is there not an Elf 2 already?!? And when I asked the girls today, “How cool would it be if Daddie was Santa Claus?” And without blinking an eye Maddie says “We could help you push him off the roof!” ROTFLMAO!

I’ve had it wrong for 30+ years, there really is a Santa Claus! I should never have told Maddie there wasn’t. Don’t ever tell your kids there isn’t. When the time comes, tell them it is Mom and Dad, sneaking around the house wrapping and stashing presents in spots they hope their kids will never find!

Saying Merry Christmas is like saying I Love You, don’t say it unless you mean it or just because someone says it to you. Say it from your heart. Say it with me this year… “I LOVE YOU! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”


“I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite!”

PS: This pic is our Christmas card, we were practicing to steal presents early Christmas morning! 😉


2014 Christmas Card