Love in Action – I love Love and I hate Hate

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21

How I might be different if I had 3 boys instead…

  • Definitely more blue and other colors and probably no pink whatsoever.
  • More blocks and tools and no ponies nor princesses.
  • More sports and less dance perhaps.
  • A less stressed wife?! And a more stressed wife?! 😉
  • More guns, swords, and cars, and less rings, bracelets, and necklaces. {and earrings?}
  • More bruises and less whining? {or more whining? or crying?}
  • Less hair clogging the vacuum and drains!
  • More stuff getting broken, including bones!
  • More spanking, and less consoling?

“If” – by Rudyard Kipling

Coach K has been using the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling to inspire his teams for decades.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

You can’t “unburn” toast, pancakes, marshmallows, or bridges!

The key to the first three is to cook them slow and not take your eyes off them while cooking.

My dad always made us pancakes in different shapes. My nephew loved Thomas The Train and my dad would make a train engine and based on the number of wheels it had, my nephew would say the name of the engine on Thomas The Train.

If I mess up whatever shape pancake I’m trying for, I just call it whatever it looks like.  Or I would ask the girls and let them call it whatever it is.  I agree with them, and then I am off the hook for messing up the pancake. 😉

As for burning bridges, you know how the saying goes…  “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.” “Think before you speak.”  “You can’t un-ring a bell.”  These lessons we may have learned as children, but they apply to adults as well.   There are other lessons we learn as children (such as the 3 Magic Words That Make People Happy) that we forget as adults, but that is for another article.

If there is conflict or anger between you and someone, I would suggest writing a letter for yourself.  You don’t have to give the letter to the other person. You could deliver the letter later if you want, at a time of your choosing, when you have had time to reflect on what you want to say.

The great thing about writing a letter for me is that I get to verbalize my thoughts and feelings.  Too often in the heat of an argument, I might say whatever my mind is thinking at the moment.  Thoughts pop in my head so fast, I sometimes end up saying something I regret.  When I should bite my tongue, walk away if I need to, and tell the person I need some time to think.  The thoughts and feelings in our heads don’t speak English.  That is why we need time to verbalize them.  I write them down and get them out of my head.  Then I walk away from the letter and I can let my mind rest now that I got my thoughts and feelings in words on paper.  Now I can “let go.”  And I can come back to the letter later if I choose and revise.  Remove the items that are negative and serve no purpose.  Focus on the goal of the letter and remain positive.  Walk away, reread, and repeat if necessary.

Whether you choose to send the letter to the other person is up to you.  I have found that simply writing the letter for myself, reduces the conflict, anger, and unhappiness inside me.  In a way, the letter is more for me than the other person.  If I happen to run into the other person, and the conflict is brought up, I now have practiced 1) Saying what I want to say, 2) in the way that I want it said, 3) and I don’t say the wrong thing.

You probably won’t end up making pancakes for them, but at least you won’t burn a bridge.  As for the pancakes, hearts are easy to make!

Eyes are windows into the soul…

… look people in the eye, even if you aren’t talking or listening to them.  You can still learn a lot about a person, just by looking into their eyes.

Looking at a person’s eyes as you talk, helps you tell the truth and let’s the person know that you are being honest and sincere.  You can tell how honest and sincere another person is, by watching their eyes as they talk.

And if you want to know how honest you are with yourself, look at your eyes in the mirror!